Elements of a successful life
If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things; if we consider ourselves as so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi? Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds? Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary? For each one of us, there is a desert to travel. A star to discover. And a being within ourselves to bring to life (Author Unknown)
What is a successful life? Is it just the attainment of wealth, fame or position, or is there more to it than that? Is it, as the quote above suggests, the making of a whole person? And if it is, what qualities do we need to bring to our day-to-day lives to create the conditions we need to do that?
Authenticity. The ego often tells us to be someone we're not, yet we cannot live happily if we are not authentic. Authenticity is, at its heart, finding out and living our own truth. It is discovering and valuing the person we really are, created by our life experiences and our genuine desire to be more than just bodies consuming things and experiences. Authenticity is the ultimate expression of love, both for ourselves and those around us.
When you start on the path to authenticity love will change you and sustain you. You will know that miracles are taking place - Sarah Ban Breathnach
Integrity. When we live with integrity we live truth. We tell the truth and search for the truth. We keep our promises (and don't make those we can't keep). We live in accordance with the standards our hearts tell us are important. We are a good friend, can be relied upon. The dictionary defines integrity as honesty and wholeness, crucial if we are to make a whole person.
It's never too late to be what you might have been (George Elliot)
Freedom. We are all programmed from childhood into many forms of prison, prisons of thought, of habits, of action and reaction. To live free is to strive to overcome any thoughts, habits, actions and reactions that are not authentic for us. Freedom means being able to think and hold opinions that are our own, even when doing so carries a price. It is also being free of the need for other people to conform to our expectations. Freedom is an essential part of being a whole person and allowing others to be whole in their own ways.
... opening the doorway in my mind where dreams and reality become one (Dan Millman)
Present Focus. There is nothing wrong with goals and dreams. Quite the reverse. The person who does not dream will live a narrow life. All too often however we are waiting to be happy, waiting to achieve our goals or for our dreams to come true. Present focus enables us to fully appreciate now while working towards our dreams. It means that we have our dreams, but concentrate on doing now, today, what needs doing towards them.
It also allows us to get more fully in touch with our lives. If we focus now on each thing we do, it gains in importance, and our experience is more complete. Instead of being a prisoner held between regrets of yesterday and hopes of tomorrow, we live fully today.
Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life. (Anon)
It is in the smallest details that the flavour of life is savoured. (Sarah Ban Breathnach)
Connection. We are all connected. None of us can live alone. We all rely on other people for most of the things we value in life. We similarly rely on the planet, on the other things that inhabit it. We rely on trees for oxygen. We rely on plants and animals for our food. We rely on the elements, rock, minerals, deposits, for the metal, oil and stone that make our lives more comfortable.
Connection is being aware of our need for others and their need for us. It is acknowledging the interconnectedness of everything. It is a sense of being one with eternity. It is true intimacy, without judgement or expectation. Connection means that we naturally live with respect for everything and everyone else.
The need is for the connection to nature within ourselves; only then can we understand how to act towards nature outside ourselves (Jacob Needleman)
Abundance. When you live abundantly you know that you will always have everything you really need. You lose the fear of scarcity, and learn how to trust that what you need will come to you. And, perhaps strangely, the more you are aware of the abundance around you, the less you seem to need. As you relax into abundance, you find yourself letting go of the things you held on tightly to out of fear. You start to live more authentically. You become whole.
Abundance is our spiritual birthright. The simpler we make our lives the more abundant they become (Sarah Ban Breathnach)
Balance. If a wheel is out of balance, the vehicle goes all over the place. It is very hard to keep it on track. The same applies to our lives. When they are out of balance we veer off track, pulling too much to the left or the right, to one side or another. We rely too heavily on one part of our lives to satisfy our needs, and become fearful of losing even that.
When our lives are in balance, our needs are fulfilled from a variety of sources, and we reach out in a variety of ways to meet the needs of others. We have many ways in which we find happiness and satisfaction. We gain independence, and we stop being a burden on or over-reliant on others. We become whole.
As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain (Anthony Robbins)
Trust. When we trust in something or someone, we confidently expect a good outcome. When we don't trust, we fear that the outcome will be disappointing or unpleasant. We fear the future.
When we live with trust in life, we learn to believe that everything is happening perfectly. Sometimes bad things happen, sometimes our lives are horrible, but deep inside we recognise it all as part of an overall pattern for our ultimate good. Then we can relax into life, accepting each thing that happens. We let go of the struggle, let healing in, and seek to grow and move on.
Enjoy everything, Need nothing
Need nothing. Desire everything. Choose what shows up (Neil Donald Walsh)
Self Responsibility. Ultimately we each create our own life experiences. We may not be able to control what happens 'out there', but we are responsible for the conclusions we draw about it and the way we respond to it. We are responsible for the choices we make and the things we do. No-one can make us do anything, and no-one can make us feel a certain way.
We live in a world where blame and lack of self responsibility sometimes seem endemic. People turn into victims, but victims are rarely happy and never whole. If we want to be whole, and happy, we have to reject the need to blame and take responsibility for it all, good and bad. Then we're free to heal it.
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us. Stephen Covey.
